In life, if people insist on only fulfilling specific roles, at certain moments, who are you to change them?

Seeking complete satisfaction from one person is a demanding ordeal and not really fair.

Don’t get me wrong: there’s no need to settle for something you’re unhappy with, but perhaps learning to be content with the reality of each instance will help keep you pleased more often. If you continue to focus on what’s lacking, you’ll fail to notice what’s readily available.

Either way, what one person is not willing to provide, someone else will. That’s the way of the world…

Just because you’re not open enough to spot opportunities, doesn’t mean they’re not there!

Attract everything you need by staying real and living truthfully.

By grace, the Universe will give, but you need the freedom and awareness to know when gratitude must be granted.

With love as the power and purity of your existence, keep your energy in line with what you want, let the world reveal itself, and consciously welcome the goodness of your desires manifested.




At times, our hearts are hindered by hopes of past dreams: those moments of broken will and lost light.

We mustn’t let darkness deter the chance for a future of change and truth.

With whatever failure you face, always remember to keep your head high and look forward.










Book Review: Wasted

Series: “Accepting Our Appearance”

Book Review: Wasted





Self‑development begins with the desire to better ourselves. We must monitor our behavior, check out thoughts, forgive ourselves, and seek enlightenment.

 The quest for self acceptance is life long: the journey can be bitter and full of decay or a practice of patience and compassion.

 Wasted book

 Image Credit

The memoir Wasted is written by Marya Hornbacher. The book documents a period from adolescence into early adulthood. Marya details her affliction with hunger, drugs, sex, and body‑image. She describes multiple bouts of intensive therapy, along with her being hospitalized and institutionalized.

The story is disturbingly truthful and raw; it permits an inside look of being plagued by dysfunctional thinking. Marya’s self‑destructive lifestyle pushes her to neglect the world, for the sake of her appearance; her familial, social, and occupational ties are severely affected, causing her to lose touch with reality. Through artistically crafted prose, Wasted exemplifies the complexity of deprivation, discipline, and conditioning.   The story recognizes how limitations and failure create an insatiable dissatisfaction of the self. Similarly, the book touches on the hazards of perfectionism, the perils of an overly‑competitive mindset, and the plight of manipulation.

We must be courageous enough to tell our own story…our lives can help others, just as others can help our lives.

be yourself

 Image Credit

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The Interview: A Voice to be Heard

Series: “Accepting Our Appearance”

The Interview: A Voice to be Heard


When our self‑concept is distorted, it can be fixed.

If we assess our level of functioning, regarding our quality of life and happiness, we can modify behavior by realizing a need for change.

For some, this “fixing” and “change” are taken to an extreme.

To provide an authentic account of those who struggle to accept their appearance, the following interview is between me and a young girl from a ProAna forum, where anorexia is promoted as a lifestyle. Within the Eating Disorder Community, there’s a special lingo members use to communicate.

I didn’t want her to feel threatened or judged, I simply wanted to hear her experience; throughout the interview, I use the lingo to help her feel more comfortable.

I hope, through this genuine perspective, we learn more about ourselves.

Be aware, empathize, learn, and grow.

We can either acknowledge our issues or remain in denial.


I transcribed the information included in her profile, translating some of her ProAna abbreviations, for clarity’s sake.

Ethnicity: Native American

Highest Weight (HW): 150lbs.

Current Weight (CW): 131.8lbs.

Goal Weight 1 (GW1): 130lbs.

Goal Weight 2 (GW2): 110lbs.

Ultimate Goal Weight 1 (UGW1): 100lbs.

Ultimate Goal Weight 2 (UGW2): 95lbs.

The interview took place over the phone on Tuesday March 5, 2013 at 7:47 pm.


  • Me: When did you start to embrace ProAna?
  • A: Nine years old.
  • Me: What triggered your interest?
  • A: Well, it was really my own curiosity. I started to check out some of the information online and it kind of sucked me in. There was also this one time my dad called me fat. I will never forget that! I guess, in that way, it was kind of my parents too.
  • Me: Do your parents know you’re ProAna?
  • A: Oh no…no one does.
  • Me: You’ve never told anyone?
  • A: I have one friend who knows, but she’s not ProAna. I talk to this other girl who’s ProAna; it’s only texting though…we’ve never met in real life.
  • Me: In all these years, no one’s been able to detect you’re ProAna?
  • A: Nope…no one. Everyone’s clueless! I guess I’m pretty good at hiding it…after all these years…
  • Me: Do you engage in regular exercise?
  • A: Of course!
  • Me: Are you only ProAna or are you ProMia too?
  • A: I’m both.
  • Me: Do you identify with one more than the other?
  • A: No, they’re both pretty equal.
  • Me: So you practice ED rituals, like fasting, along with binging and purging?
  • A: Yep. I fast about one to two days a week.
  • Me: How do your habits affect your body?
  • A: I actually have a lot of health issues…my stomach is torn apart from the vomiting…and laxatives. I get sick a lot. I guess I’m just kind of weak.
  • Me: Do you practice self‑harm?
  • A: No, not anymore.
  • Me: What did you do?
  • A: I use to burn myself.
  • Me: Did you do it as a way to release emotional tension or as a punishment for eating?
  • A: I would say it was a mixture of the two.
  • Me: Would you say you’re suicidal?
  • A: Oh no! Not at all!
  • Me: Have you experienced any kind of trauma? Or were you ever bullied or taunted about your weight?
  • A: No…it was more of an internal thing. You hear this voice in your head that tells you, “you can’t do it…you will always be fat!” I guess you just do what you can to keep it quiet.
  • Me: So, would you say you hate yourself or you hate the food? In all this, who’s the true enemy?
  • A: Ummm, I would say the food. The food is the enemy. If it wasn’t for the food, there wouldn’t be a problem.
  • Me: How do you see yourself, from one to ten?
  • A: A two.
  • Me: What do you like about yourself? Really, it can be anything…at least one…?
  • A: If I had to say, it would be my eyes.
  • Me: Okay. What do you dislike?
  • A: Everything else!
  • Me: Where do you receive the most pressure to be thin?
  • A: Society…definitely! I will never fit in…I’ll never meet up to the standards of what it takes to fit in.
  • Me: Who is your ideal thinspiration?
  • A: Miley Cyrus.
  • Me: Are you proud you’re ProAna?
  • A: No…no, no, no. Really. Over the years, it’s been like an on‑again off‑again kind of thing. I’ll see what I’m doing and just think it’s so stupid! Then I have those moments where I’m called back. Once you’re in, you’re in for good…unless you really get help…like real help.
  • Me: Have you ever been to treatment?
  • A: No, but I probably will. Eventually…
  • Me: So, you don’t see being ProAna as a lifestyle, you see it as a sickness?
  • A: I mean, I know it’s bad! Obviously! But really, it’s like this battle between good and evil. You want to be happy with yourself, but Ana says you won’t be, unless you lose more weight. Every time you do, it’s just never good enough. You always have to keep going…
  • Me: How do you feel Ana has affected your life?
  • A: Ehhh, it’s alright. I’m okay with it; it doesn’t take too much from me.
  • Me: Overall, are you happy with life?
  • A: Sometimes. Most of the time, I’m just depressed.
  • Me: Could you imagine living this way, for the rest of your life?
  • A: Yeah…it wouldn’t be that hard.
  • Me: Would you rather live a long, healthy life or die young, but skinny?
  • A: Young and skinny! Definitely…
  • Me: If you knew someone who wanted to be ProAna, what would you tell them?
  • A: I would tell them it’s a bad idea. You won’t be happy because you’ll never be pleased with yourself. You will feel scared, alone, sad, and will always have bad feelings that will never, ever, go away. You will always have a low self‑esteem. Always…
  • Me: Do you want help, so you can stop living ProAna?
  • A: I do and I don’t. I’m sick of feeling like this and I’m sick of living in secrecy. At the same time, this is all I know. To think of living any other way is just scary…it seems impossible. The way I live, is what I know…it’s familiar. Ana is the only way.




conquer Image Credit


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Series: “Accepting Our Appearance”

Series: “Accepting Our Appearance”

Series Introduction

I will be issuing a series of posts, with the focus on “Accepting Our Appearance”.

Everyday, we must do our best to combat our insecurities and doubts. I want us to gain awareness as to how we see ourselves, along with identifying the roots of our uncertainties.

Learning to accept ourselves is essential to being content with life. In order to progress, we must be satisfied with our present state of being.

If the importance of appearance exceeds our ability to enjoy life, extreme consequences can surface. Unfortunately, frustration with one’s appearance risk acquiring an obsession with “fixing” their perceived flaws; this is how body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and mood disorders can develop. I will use an interview, the book Wasted, in addition to the documentaries Baby Faced Body Builders and Thin, to assist in exhibiting some precarious cases, related to our discussion.

All in all, I want us to create a balance within ourselves, attain healthy perspectives regarding self‑improvement, and come to accept and love who we are.

Let the enlightenment begin!

Table of Link Contents

1.Degrading the Details

2.Be Powerful

3.How to Appreciate Ourselves

4.The Interview: A Voice to be Heard

5.Book Review: Wasted

6.A Comparison to See: Watching the Documentaries Thin and Baby Faced Body Builders

7.Challenge Yourself!

Watching The Bridge

Series: “The Self and Suicide”

Watching The Bridge

WATCH: The documentary The Bridge .

Take note of the following:

  • Characters: If you were to commit suicide, would a public bridge be your first choice? Do you believe suicidal people have a subconscious draw into one mode of suicide, over another?
  • Situation: Do you think you could detect whether or not someone is about to kill themselves? Do you feel, if you were in the same area as the person, you would suspect his/her intentions?
  • Reaction: Upon encountering a suicidal individual, would you try and interfere, get someone else to help, or observe from a distance? If the person goes through with the suicide, how would his/her death affect you? Would you feel blameless, guilty, sad, haunted, angry…?
  • Mood: If you saw someone kill themselves, would you feel better or worse about your current circumstances? Would you be grateful or hateful, regarding your own life?
  • Setting: People kill themselves in many places: jumping off buildings, throwing themselves into traffic or train tracks, hanging in a closet…sadly, the list goes on. What difference do you think it makes, that those in The Bridge, chose this location for their ultimate escape?
  • Society: Do you feel the people around you have the power to make a difference? If you were suicidal, would you go to a public place, with the hope that someone will reach out and help you? Would you commit the act in private, protecting others from having to deal with you?
  • The Aftermath: Depending on how and where someone commits suicide, there will be something left behind. If you came across a dead body, of someone you love, how would that make you feel? If you decided to commit suicide, would you want people to find you or would you do it in a place, where you’ll be washed away, like The Bridge? What do you think this line of thinking says about you, as a person?

The Bridge

Image Credit

Suicide is an epidemic. We must be conscious and try to make a difference.

When we acknowledge others, and make an effort to be kind, we can help create connections. Little by little, we can help strengthen the unity and wellness of humanity.

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All Suicidal People Are the Same…Right?

Series: “The Self and Suicide”

All Suicidal People Are the Same…Right?

With suicide, the ambiguity of such an extreme act has caused people to form misconceptions as to who is suicidal.

Society claims suicidal people are:

  • Stupid
  • Lost
  • Selfish
  • Death‑Seeking
  • Cowards
  • Weak
  • Crazy
  • Lonely
  • Attention‑Seeking
  • Sinners

For suicidal people, certain stressors trigger an overflow of misery, causing a severe breach in one’s threshold for pain. At this point, they will do anything to rid themselves of suffering…the willingness to endure the pain is lost. Desperate for a solution, suicide becomes their only option.

Clearly, with such a harsh portrayal of those who have suicidal tendencies, it’s no wonder why some people feel restricted in talking through their issues. Naturally, we fear facing the judgment, embarrassment, contempt, or ridicule that rests within discussing suicide, it being one of the many taboo topics society feels are better left alone.

Escape the Pain

 Image Credit

Suicide isn’t an escape from life, it’s an escape from pain! If their pain could be lifted, allowing them to be healed, those who contemplate suicide would be able to deal with life. Sadly, this magical remedy isn’t easy to come by.

Anyone can be suicidal. We can’t predict who will reach the point of desired death, nor can we come up with a global understanding of why; with that being said, we must do our best not to criticize.

Instead, we should raise awareness and make an effort to show we care.


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