Degrading the Details

Series: “Accepting Our Appearance”

Degrading the Details

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LET’S THINK…

 WHAT PART OF YOUR APPEARANCE ARE YOU THE MOST CONCERNED WITH? WHY DO YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR ASPECT? DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE A HEALTHY WAY OF ACKNOWLEDGING AND ACCEPTING THIS SUPPOSED FLAW?

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THE ASPECTS OF OUR APPEARANCE WE CRITICIZE:

WHERE OUR INSECURITIES STEM FROM:

  • Skin
  • Hair
  • Teeth
  • Body Structure
  • Facial Features
  • Ourselves
  • A Romantic Interest or Lover
  • An Authority Figure
  • Our Family Members
  • Our Friends
  • Society
  • Past Experience

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Image Credit

We don’t realize how much our confidence and self-worth are determined by appearance.

When we feel ashamed about our appearance, we berate ourselves. More often, we seek ways to “fix” what’s wrong. We exaggerate the need for makeup, cosmetic surgery procedures, overly‑restrictive dieting, supplements, diet pills, excessive exercising…to the point of no‑return! Some go as far as mutilating their features to rid themselves of their imperfections.

We program our mind—unless we appreciate what we have, we will never know relief.

You’re imperfections are what make you unique, so learn to embrace them! Submit to the truth of how you look in your natural form. Discover your inherent beauty. Become self-assured by peacefully admitting to whatever’s lacking. With time and effort, you will grow to be comfortable in your own skin.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. No matter who you are, there’s no one else like you. How amazing is that?

Be proud! Own your identity!

im not perfect..im me and that's perfect

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13 thoughts on “Degrading the Details

  1. HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING: WHAT PART OF YOUR APPEARANCE ARE YOU THE MOST CONCERNED WITH?

    Anything that makes me appear to be feminine. Unfortunately I am a pear shape so always look feminine. It’s not a sexuality thing but rather a safety/security thing because of past trauma, no doubt.

    WHY DO YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR ASPECT?

    The first time I felt ‘secure’ was when I was told I had nearly no body fat, being that I was literally off the chart low for my age. I just don’t want to be noticed. I have no interest in fashion models or societal standards other than acceptance from peers and being treated better because I am thin. And yeah, if people are honest, that is reality unfortunately.

    DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE A HEALTHY WAY OF ACKNOWLEDGING AND ACCEPTING THIS SUPPOSED FLAW?

    No. That is why I am willing to go to therapy twice a week.

    • Our bodies register all types of responses…some are expected and others are forced upon us. Being a woman, it’s difficult to stay strong when our image is constantly objectified to a piece of meat.

      We are all sexual creatures…it’s a fact of life. We’re expected to engage in sex, if we expect to produce others for future generations. Unfortunately, for those who’ve suffered from traumatic sexual experiences, sex is tainted. Our bodies are not valued because our dysfunctional experiences have devalued their purity.

      When others acknowledge us, with an attempt to make us feel better about how we look, we take it as them adding to our self-worth. We feel good, for a moment, but because we’re broken internally, with a lack of self-esteem, their notice is only a temporary gain.

      I’m happy you’re taking the time to care for yourself. We all need to know what works for us! Therapy can be extremely beneficial, for those who apply the teachings and practices of developmental care.

      Thank you for your raw honesty…I know it helps others who are going through difficult times.

      I’m very grateful you can be a voice for those who can’t find it in them to speak up. Everyday, that voice of strength will grow. One day, you will realize, it’s no longer a voice of hope…it’s you! You will be happy with yourself…it takes time…but really, all great things do.

      • Wow, thank you for your reply. I am so glad I started following your blog. Anything that is thought provoking in a positive way, I feel, is beneficial in whatever direction we are going.

  2. Do you think it is possible to be completely happy with one’s looks when advertising is constantly surrounding us? Girls more than guys are being told they need to not only lose weight to be aesthetically pleasing, but to also “firm” up; to have absolutely no jiggle, which is essentially impossible and makes the struggle a life-long one.

    • Excellent point!

      In a society structured for the consumer, advertisements are inevitable. I know it seems impossible to be completely content with how we look, but you’re right when you say the struggle for acceptance will be “life-long”.

      Everyday, we have to make an effort to strengthen our ability to accept what we deem deficient. Granted, some days will definitely be more challenging!

      As we learn to love ourselves, we come to see we deserve to be loved. From there, anytime we must deal with a situation that tries to counter our self-love, we can learn to dismiss it because we KNOW we deserve better.

      The external world will always make an effort to seep in, dropping bits of doubt to test our resiliency. The more we come to terms with our identity, the more refined our reality will be…we will learn to master our own standards, ignoring those who try to make us feel less than.

      I think it’s important we see how we treat others: How often do we judge men or women, solely on their appearance? When we do, what does this say about the way we see ourselves, along with what we expect from those around us?

      Judgments and insecurities go hand-in-hand…

      • I completely agree. It is extremely important to self-reflect in order to figure out the social apparatus’ we respond to; whether our response is to resist or submit to the hegemony. So, can I assume your also a Foucault fan? 🙂

      • Truth!

        The name Foucault sounds like a philosopher…

        I’ve never read, but, by your assumption, I’m tempted to check it out!

        I’m always up for more knowledge, so I will do some research! We shall see 😉

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